Validation, in Dunnes, is pretty much one of the most boring things you can do. It’s just scanning one item, checking it on the gun, putting it back, scanning the next items, checking the label is right, putting it back, scanning the next, blah, blah, blah.
That’s why I have favourite sections, which I tend to do over and over again most weeks – seasonal, because it only ever takes 20 minutes to do, because there are entire drops of the same product, crisps and snacks, because bags of crisps take up a *lot* of shelf space (although that does make me rather hungry), checkouts, because there are always people on the checkouts to talk to, and babycare. Babycare’s a kinda weird one, because it can be very boring, but I like doing it because anyone who’s walking from the stockroom into drapery will go down aisle 7, which is babycare (and men’s toiletries, dental and health, but I don’t like doing them), so you get to see a lot of people. Plus, provided Susan’s not on (or bitchface Jennifer), normally the nice ones will stop and have a quick chat, which is always interesting.
Anyways, babycare is grand, because nappies take up lots of shelf space as well, so it looks like you’ve done loads after the first 15 minutes of scanning.
But where was I going with this? Oh yeah, babyfood.
There are only a couple of manufacturers of babyfood – Dunnes stock four – Milupa, Cow and Gate, Heinz and Hipp. We stock various other baby-related paraphernalia, like liga and baby milk, but I’m talking about jars of mush, really.
‘Cause that’s all they are. They’re just mush. They all look the bloody same, and, really, how many different ways can you blend sweet potato?
(If you’re Heinz, at least three).
Anyways, the one good thing about babyfood is that generally they have pictures of cute babies on the bottles and cartons, which is always entertaining.
Heinz are the most fun, because we stock the Mum’s Own range, which means that you get a different mum and a different baby on each jar.
Milupa are a bunch of boring old sods, they only have two babies – they have a four month baby, who’s on the boxes for foods suitable from four months, and a six month baby, who’s on the boxes for foods suitable from, yep, you guessed it, six months.
Cow and Gate, though, they’re a special one. They also have a four month and I think a seven month baby?
But they’ve been really devious, right? The four month baby is wearing dungarees, a t-shirt and a hat, but what they’ve done, in their little babyfood jar manufacturing world, is they’ve photoshopped different colour hats and t-shirts onto the baby, depending on what food he’s on!
Oh, they’re devious! They’re colour-coded and all, very clever. Blue is for fish, yellow for poultry, red for red meat (I see what they did there, I never would have made that association myself) and green for vegetarian. Plus, the colour the baby is wearing matches the lid of the jar. They’re a smart bunch, Cow and Gate. I thought for a good while they had a bunch of different babies.
You have to understand, of course, I’m not just staring at babies. It’s just when you validate the same section week after week after week, the images get kind of ingrained into your mind.
I said there were four types of babyfood, didn’t I? What was the last? Oh, yeah, Hipp.
They’re boring. They just have pictures of vegetables. I mean, honestly. If I wanted to look at vegetables, wouldn’t I go and validate Fruit and Veg?
Those manufacturers, they have no regard for bored supermarket employees, no regard whatsoever!